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Imagine starting out on a journey
without a map, with little money in your pocket, and with
little gas in your vehicle. The outcome would be quite
predictable - you would have a very difficult time if
not an impossible one arriving at your destination. Too
often people go about their search for a relationship
in a similar manner - with inadequate skills and resources
and with out a clear sense of where they want to end up.
Too often we set ourselves up for failure by prematurely
setting out on a search for a relationship before we are
ready to be in one. The inevitable hurt and frustration
of another failed relationship leaves us feeling unlovable
and again asking, "Why can't I find the right person?"
Before setting out on your next quest for relationship
happiness, ask yourself...
 1. Am I still in love with an ex-partner?
2. Am I carrying tremendous resentment or rage toward
an ex-partner?
3. Do I feel spiritually or emotionally empty within myself?
4. Do I dislike the person I am?
5. Do I feel I have very little to offer a mate?
6. Do I feel so lonely and desperate that I’m totally
miserable without a relationship?
7. Do I feel no one would want to be in a relationship
with me?
8. Do I find it difficult to feel or express my emotions?
If you answered YES
to any of these questions you may not be emotionally ready
to have an intimate relationship. Either you haven’t
recovered sufficiently from a previous relationship to
give your heart to another, or your self-esteem is so
low that you can’t love another, or you feel so
empty inside that you have nothing to offer except neediness.
If you suspect you aren’t ready for love, go on
a relationship fast and work on improving your
relationship with yourself.
Sometimes a healthy prerequisite to committing yourself
to a relationship is an awareness and acceptance of yourself
that allow a healthy integration and expression of your
thoughts, needs and feelings. This is best achieved by
investing a certain amount of time and energy to self-exploration,
self-knowledge, and self-development. In any situation
seeking the assistance of professionals and experts in
the form of counseling, psychotherapy, educational and
skill building seminars, or self help materials could
serve as a valid short cut to a resolution of past conflicts,
enhanced insight, a more positive self esteem, and more
effective social and coping skills – all of which
facilitates a healthier you and making healthy relationship
choices. |
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